All posts by dleCAT1

ID-100158083

A Life Orchestrated Around Fear – Week 22

How big is fear in your life? In mine, fear was the primary driving force behind much of the programming. You probably know some people like that. Maybe it’s you sometimes.

I feared the future, failure, success, commitments, not committing, poverty, wealth, feasting and famine. Most of all, I feared not being “enough.”

Always something more was needed. More education, more training, more information, more money, more time, more fitness, more suits, more titles, more achievements, more skills. Never enough, never sufficient.

Unknowingly, I had given power to some nebulous event or person or circumstance or business or system to make me good enough, smart enough, organized enough and/or attractive enough to succeed.

Mind you, I didn’t originate much of this programming. I learned it at my parents’ knees. Extended family taught me. Teachers taught me. Society taught me. And I learned and I bought and I internalized all the lessons of inadequacy, limitation and lack.

And, recently, I unlearned them. I first created a desirable life vision. Then I read edifying truths about how to profitably think. Then awareness dawned.

Consciousness precedes change.

I now know that the only way for me to experience growth and positive change is to create the desired conditions inside, in the subjective. Then, over time, conditions outside, in the objective, manifest in conformity with the vision within.

Another example might help. Several recent experiences demonstrated the power of enmity. In one, a friend called with exciting news about finding a new company with which to apply his skills and talents. As he described his new “love,” I chided him for being the “message” rather than the messenger. I apologized later, but the damage was done. Healing will hopefully mend the breach over time.

The impact of these experiences caused me to ponder how they were all related, and the answer came easily. In each experience I manifested a sense of enmity or competition. And I easily discerned the source: insecurity. The source of insecurity? FEAR. Same song; different verse.

I feel grateful for the consciousness of fear as it manifested in insecurity. I know from recent study in the Masterkey Mastermind Experience that fear, guilt, anger, hurt feelings and unworthiness frequently accompany expansion of one’s comfort zone. Thus, my awareness of these feelings allows me to simultaneously feel reassured in progress, despite the pain of unintentionally straining relationships.

Given the foregoing, you won’t be surprised that close friendships have been rare, and that a sense of impending doom was a frequent companion until recently. Praise God for a new day!

A month’s reading of Mandino’s Scroll V from The Greatest Salesman has taught me that mourning yesterday’s failures darkens today’s joy and diverts energy from making today the best it can be. I can, however, make amends today as well as possible, and I can remember to connect.

You see, enmity fosters a sense of “other.” We’re learning from Haanel’s Masterkey System that “other” is an unnecessarily limiting illusion. The truth is connection. Connection with God above, connection with God within (myself), and connection with God all around (nature, people, etc.). With connection, enmity vanishes.

We have, each moment, a privilege. That privilege is choice. For me, the best choice is conscious connection. Eventually, with practice, connection will be automatic and require no further conscious choice. I will have changed the music and the orchestra will play a more pleasing tune.

Until then, I am humbled and grateful for loving, forgiving friends, companions and fellow travelers.

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Fractal

Succeed on Your Own Terms – Week 21

February 23, 2014

I have come to believe that one must succeed on one’s own terms, or not succeed at all. After all, each of us is unique, with individual talents and interests. No one of us is exactly like another. If we’re willing, we can take that individuality and build on it to paint the masterpiece of a life well and fully lived.

In the past several weeks, we have been instructed to read each day at least one obituary with a picture from that day’s printed newspaper. This has been an interesting exercise, designed, in part, to help us internalize the reality that each day might be our last. This accords with Scroll V in Mandino’s Greatest Salesman, which begins, “I will live this day as if it is my last.”

I feel privileged to have received another benefit from my reading. No two obituaries of more than a paragraph are even remotely alike. This is natural, and it reflects what is now for me a treasured truth: no two lives are even remotely alike.

I’m a big fan of patterns, and human behavior does seem to roughly fall into a relatively small number of large patterns. However, like a fractal image, the closer you look, the more detail is revealed. And God is in the detail (contrary to the proverb).

Perhaps it is an American cultural trait to celebrate individuality. If so, well, but there’s no denying individuality no matter your race, gender or culture. Each of us is as a snowflake, no two of which, it is said, are exactly alike.

Snowflake

My predisposition to like patterns initially led me a little astray for a while. You see, intellectually (though not much in practice it seems) I like the idea of learning from the mistakes of others. Couple this with the tendency to live in the “less than” box, and you get an evil combination of fearing error without the confidence to understand the message of eternal truth.

The truth is that no one can succeed like I can, because no one else has my unique gifts and talents. Likewise, I cannot succeed like anyone else, because I do not have their gifts and talents. I must succeed on my own terms, or not succeed at all.

This becomes obvious when you realize that if someone else is setting the goal posts, the goal will always move just as you seem to reach it.

Does this mean I cannot benefit from the roads and bridges others build? No. All it means is that my destination is, figuratively, my own home in the city I choose. No one outside my mastermind can build my home, and no one else can live there.

Golden Gate

Thus we see the truth of the Hero’s Journey: each person becomes a hero by treading a unique path, with unique adversity and uniquely crafted assistance.

I used to think, erroneously, that a unique path required me to travel alone. Now I know the truth. I can only succeed, even individually, with the assistance and fellowship of trusted, harmonious companions and advisers. And, yet, my journey is mine alone.

No one can live my life for me. I must do it. If my life is to become a masterpiece, it is not because someone (even God) laid a template over me and painted my life by their numbers. Good thing God doesn’t want automatons for children. We are His heirs, if we’re willing to claim His kingdom for ourselves. And part of that heritage is the freedom and obligation to craft and live a unique life.

My promise to you is that what you want wants you. The success you want, on your own terms, wants you. You’re designed 1st class, by 1st class, and you’re entitled to go 1st class as long as you live your own 1st class miracle.

I rejoice in your companionship along the journey of success. As we achieve the success we envision, we lift those around us and help make the world a better place. As we do well, we indeed do good, if that is our desire.

Name your terms, smile and pay your price.  “Take what you want,” says God, “and pay for it.”

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Painting Heart

It’s Whatever You Need It to Be – Week 20 Supplement

February 19, 2014

Had a transcendent experience this morning as I pondered over an event yesterday in a collaborative healing session with my craniosacral therapist. We were talking about energy exchange, and he told me of a Sitka Spruce tree anomalously growing in one of our local parks. It’s anomalous because it belongs in a rain forest, and our locale is not one of those. However, being near Seattle, we get out fair share of rain most years, and this park does include wetlands.

Steve (his name) told me I should visit the tree to feel its energy field. He then invited me to discern whether its energy was male or female.

I learned from Steve years ago that physical distance is no barrier to sensation, so I visited the tree remotely from the treatment room. I concluded that the tree’s energy was male. Steve told me that was interesting because he thought its energy was female.

Then (I know now) came the most amazing revelation. I told Steve that he perceived the tree’s energy as female because that’s what he needed it to be. Those were the right words, but I hadn’t yet perceived the spiritual reality.

And, this morning, the lightning struck: the energy of many things in God’s creation is fluid, flexible and responsive. It becomes whatever we need it to be.

The energy type, if you will, of many things is fixed, as well. My energy is predominantly male, because gender is an essential characteristic of my existence and identity. Therefore, if you need male energy and are willing to collaborate with me, I’m a great source.

However, there is an infinite pool of completely generic energy constantly available all around us. We need not attempt to draw female energy, for example, from an inherently male rock. In fact, all I need to do is identify the energy I need, and I can invite it into me with every breath, if I’m willing. See, e.g., Haanel, Part 20, paragraph 20.

Money, which we call currency and is simply a symbol of life energy, is energetically generic. It is whatever we need it to be. If I need money to be scarce or difficult, it is. On the other hand, if I need money to be abundant and free-flowing, it is that, as well.

The “trick” if you want to call it that, is to access your needs, your true needs. You can get a feel for these needs by looking carefully at your life as it now stands. Is money tight for you? Then that is (or, until recently, was) your need. Want a new reality? Change your needs.

My situation yesterday might illustrate. My wife had then been absent for a week, and, upon pondering Dr. Paul Zak’s TED talk about oxytocin, it struck me that I was manifesting symptoms of oxytocin deficiency. I’ve embedded that talk here for you.

I estimated that getting a massage might not only relieve tension, but it might prompt oxytocin release from human touch. That didn’t work. Part of the problem was a lack of connected touch, so no energetic circuit occurred. I left the massage disappointed, blaming myself and the apparent lack of skill and emotional availability of the masseuse.

I found out later by inspiration that I could have participated in a “touchless” energetic circuit if I’d been more aware of the possibilities. After all, there is an infinite supply of generic energy universally available. All I needed to do was create a demand or need.

I’m still a big fan of massage and personal touch, as some touch is essential to most of our health. Next time, I’ll go in with a clearer sense of my part in the circuit, and I’ll make sure to wait for a masseuse who better suits my needs.

In all this, I learned, even more importantly in the long term, that I had imagined and affirmed a bright future without really creating a need for it. That error essentially left me waiting for some mysterious force to “grant” me my future rather than effectively creating it from within.

A couple things about need may also be helpful. The need must be for your own good and for the good of people around you. It must not take anyone else’s good, and you must be willing to receive your “need” on proper exchange. As is popularly and pithily repeated, “There ain’t no free lunch.” Equally importantly, you get to pick whether receiving your “need” is hard or easy.

A couple good ways to start “paying” for your “lunch” are:
• Keep all your promises. You have to trust yourself, others need you to be trustworthy, and infinite supply is increasingly available only as you make your integrity more pleasing. I wrote a post about that. Your integrity becomes more pleasing as you carefully consider each promise and then keep it. It makes no difference to whom the promise was made. Might be yourself, your spouse, your family or your God. Keep all your promises.
• Make a conscious choice to control the flow of your life energy. The most fluid elements of that energy are time and money. If you don’t consciously choose control (until that habit becomes automatic), your time and money will randomly and haphazardly leak into the nearest sink. I use “sink” generically here to mean any place or thing into which energy flows and stays. Some of my “sinks” are video games, TV and entertainment. A goal without a plan is only a wish, and calendars and budgets (two weaknesses that are becoming strengths for me) are great tools for planning.
• Become aware of the needs of others. Give to every person you encounter, in some way, shape or form. Smiles are great gifts, as are random kindnesses. A sincere compliment is always well received, too. Money becomes no object when you become open to the possibilities. Are the best things in life free? Give those, abundantly.
• Welcome the abundance of others. Greet their gifts to you with a hearty, “Thank you.” Participate in the flow of giving and receiving.

My wife and I have created a need for schools for children which affirm their possibilities, preserve their curiosity, and reward their inherent passion. We also have a need for “schools” or programs for adults which allow them the same privileges. This need only becomes a demand, however, when I flesh out the detail so I have a firm idea of the intended structure and the amount of life energy needed to make it happen.

You already have in mind at least a vague idea of what you want your life to look like, feel like and be like. You may be making good progress, or you may find yourself foundering. You’ll gain ground on your dream as you add detail and create real need.

If you’re ready for this, I rejoice with you. I embrace and affirm the new reality you’re creating. I know you’re walking with me, and I welcome your company. After all, there’s an infinite supply of generic energy just waiting for us both to welcome it in.

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Heart in Hand

God is Love – Week 20

Sunday, February 16, 2014

We learn from scripture and experience that God is Love. Jesus Christ taught His disciples that the pre-eminent commandment is to love God with all one’s heart, might, mind and strength.

The second commandment is similar: to love one’s neighbor as one’s self.

Study of Haanel’s Masterkey System is a great companion to studying scripture. Truth is truth, and variety of expression can be mind-expanding. For me, it can even seem soul-expanding.

This week I experienced a dramatic failure from failing to apply an industry best practice. I think I’m in good company having initially resisted this best practice, and pondering Haanel’s Lesson 19 led me to understand the nature of my error. I’ll give some detail later on about the failure and the best practice to assuage your curiosity, but the main lesson is more important in that it has universal application.

In Lesson 19 we learn that the only principle in physical, mental and spiritual matters is “mind” or thought. In Haanel’s lexicon, “principle” means a concept that has power. “Power” is the ability to create a pleasing result. Power provides the energy necessary to change polarity and thus cause movement. Movement can be physical, mental and/or spiritual.

Therefore, right thinking is the only positive power, and access to power is immediately granted to one who thinks correctly.

And what is the ultimate “right” thought? Put another way, what is the ultimate “right” motivation? The title to this post gives away the answer to all who are ready to receive it. All good, and all power, can ultimately be attributed to one thought, one motivation: love. God is love, because His only thought is love; His only motivation is love.

Love is multilayered, at least to my mortal, temporal mind. I can, and should, love God, love myself, love my wife, love my family, love my neighbors, love my community, love my nation and love my world. It is appropriate for me to draw motivation from each and all of these layers.

As I demonstrate love for God:
• I revere Him and trust Him;
• I love myself and the rest of His creation;
• I recognize His love for me in His commandments and instructions;
• I embrace His gift to me of agency, personal power and divine potential; and
• I obey Him, not out of fear or a sense of obligation, but out of a desire to honor Him by manifesting the best of which I am capable, always remembering that each act or thought of obedience expands my capacity.

As I demonstrate love for myself:
• I invest in personal development every day, always listening for God’s whisper inviting me to receive knowledge from additional sources;
• I choose nutrition appropriate to my needs;
• I respect my body by adopting appropriate exercise habits;
• I search out my divine destiny, mission and purpose to make sure my life’s ladder is leaning against the best wall;
• I embrace my potential by creating a detailed vision, image and/or statement of that purpose;
• I embrace the need to gain specific knowledge to help me achieve my purpose;
• I rejoice in visualizing, articulating and “owning” objectives, strategy and tactics calculated after due consideration to help me manifest my purpose;
• I choose one or more companions who will join with me in perfect harmony to pursue the path of purpose; and
• I keep all my promises, knowing that every promise kept is a blessing, and every promise broken is a burden.

I could go on a bit, but if you’re ready, you’re already getting the point.

Thank you for reading this far. Now, to relieve your curiosity, here’s what happened.

In an attempt to build a relationship and to collect a decision, I followed up with a friend, who is also one of my health care providers. I had answered his request for information with a conditional delivery of data and other resources. The condition was that he actually read and/or view the data and resources and report to me what he thought of them. He didn’t report, hence my follow up.

Despite my best shot at being supportive and non-confrontational, my “friend” was unable to resist what he perceived to be an invitation to provocation, and he totally went off on me, accusing me of social ineptitude (which may be true), and disparaging (without foundation) my industry, company, products, and personal integrity. He didn’t disparage my ancestry or progeny, but he came close. 🙂 The incident definitely damaged the relationship, and it might have destroyed it.

Lessons learned: twofold. One, my friend did not feel my love. Some aspect of my motivation and communication must have been selfish, self-serving, judging or condemning to provoke his reaction. Unless, as was observed by one of my mastermind partners, my friend is mentally ill, in which case his response was outside his control anyway.

Two, and equally important to the future of all my relationships, I did not love my friend or myself enough to make sure he was a “prospect” before offering him information. I learned in Go90Grow a method to employ up-front contracts (Hero’s Journey Skills) to distinguish between a “possibility” and a “prospect,” and I simply rebelled against using them. Mark J reassured me in a private conversation after the incident that my rebellion is unfortunately pretty typical. If I had operated from the sole motivation of love and applied the HJ skills, there is no way I would have invited my friend to receive information in the 1st place, let alone experienced the awkward and exceptionally unpleasant consequence mentioned above.

It happened that my friend and I attended a church leadership meeting this evening. A brief apology, expressions of love and a sincere hug later, our relationship begins anew. Trust will build with time.

Some knowledge, for me anyway, can only be acquired at a great price. I hope you are willing to accept it at “market” rather than unnecessarily paying extra. You and everyone around you will be happier, I promise.

Appropriate to today’s post, the closing hymn for our morning worship service was “God is Love.” It served as a wonderful affirmation of the inspiration with which the day started. God is love, because love is His only thought and His only motivation. Natural Action: He serves, without attachment or expectation of reciprocity. Natural result: He is Master.

Thus we see that Haanel, with Christ, really is offering us the Masterkey. As love becomes our only thought and our only motivation, we likewise gain mastery, line upon line, precept on precept, here a little and there a little, until we come to the measure and stature and fullness of Christ.

I hope you, too, know and feel God’s love. Join me in embracing and embodying love, won’t you?

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Mt Rainier

Addicted to Projection – Week 19

Are you more in love with your potential or your excuses?  For me, the answer too long was the latter.  That was a consequence of addiction, addiction to projecting my excuses onto the people around me.

This was part of the blueprint that was keeping me small and stuck in my previous reality.  That reality was far short of my dreams, and, more to the point, far short of my potential.

A few examples may help you understand me.  You can liken these to yourself if they fit.

Most of us understand the Law of Attraction to state that we attract what we inherently are.  (E.g., Haanel, paragraph 19-17.)  As I thought myself to “be” prosperous, and I could see that I wasn’t, I projected my own (I know now) weakness onto my wife.

That’s three logic errors for the price of one:  externalizing the cause of my reality, projecting my weakness onto my wife, and denying the reality of my own mental state.

All you married folks will realize that the logic errors are just the tip of the error iceberg.  The larger portion of the problem is denial, blame, lack of progress, poor economic results (at least in comparison to perceived ability), and destruction of trust and emotional intimacy.  Not a pretty picture, especially when that wasn’t the only weakness I projected onto my wife.  That she stayed with me is a testament to her strength and her commitment to her covenants with God.

Our society offers two choices for celebration: ability or disability.  This being the season of the Winter Olympics, celebration of ability is almost constantly before us.  Every political season gives us cause, if we want it, to celebrate disability.  Part of my insanity, as mentioned in previous posts, was coming from a “less than” box, where I believed myself to be less than others.

As a consequence, part of me liked the idea of being celebrated for being disabled.  My affliction with depression was at least partially disabling.  Whoo hoo!  I’m disabled.  Wait!  I don’t want to live on disability income, so I can’t really go there.  Nor do I want to live dependent on frequently ineffective mental health meds with terrible side effects. That wouldn’t do at all.

I always perceived myself to be a good student.  After all, you really can’t gain entrance into law school nor pass a bar or CPA exam without being a good student.  That’s all good, as far as it goes.  What about the “weightier matters”?  I was great academically in formal education.  I could remember, assimilate, synthesize, analyze, and logic through others’ problems.  What about my own?

“Knowledge does not apply itself,” says Haanel repeatedly in his Masterkey System.  And, so, I was left with a logical conundrum.  I believed Haanel (and many others writing similarly), and I had a firm grasp of the text.  And, yet, at least through 2013, I still didn’t like my results.  Two choices immediately appeared: blame the teacher, or admit my failings as a student.

Up until recently, I blamed the teacher.  I can see that now.  I disclaimed responsibility for my ability as a student, largely as part of my larger “externalization” of success.  All the books, tapes, programs and systems offered me “magic” that would transform me via external influence into the person I felt I could become.  And I projected my weaknesses and failings onto the teachers.

Fortunately, persistence is a virtue, and it can be learned.  My basic personality helped.  I was always too stubborn to give up.  I am always ready to wake up to a new day and try again.

Why? I can’t tell you.  I suppose I’m like a mountaineer.  “Why did you climb the mountain?” asks the reporter.  “Because it was there,” replies the outdoorsman.  He had a motivation different from the reporter, and such will really forever remain foreign to the spectator or critic.

Through the grace of God I always had before me a vision of who I could be, and that was far beyond my current state.  The mountain of my potential lay constantly before me, and I could not give up until I found a way to summit that peak.

Hence, I celebrate each day’s progress, each day’s chance to renew the upward journey.  Today I found a new insight: that I have been more addicted to my excuses than to my vision.

When I combine that knowledge with the conviction that the power of success is within me, I gain strength, and I gain compassion.  I also gain motivation to continue the upward climb, because I know many coming after me will need my example to give them strength to continue their own climb.

Join me, won’t you?

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ID-100167261

Bringing Your Own – Week 18 Supplemental

What if you could find the spark that would ignite greatness within you? How would you feel?

I know how I felt recently as I realized one of the things that had been missing. My performance was sporadic and not all that effective. My spirit was depressed. My belief in myself was low.

I knew in my heart I had all the tools I needed to succeed. I knew I was good enough, I was smart enough, I was sufficiently diligent and I wasn’t afraid of hard work. I had the gas, I had the air, but I was missing a spark.

And then, there it was!

Like a bolt out of the blue, I knew what Billie Holiday meant. She sang, “God bless the child that’s got his own. I’ve got my own.”

As soon as I really believed in myself, I had my own! And, as the hymn says, “We give thee but thine own.” Whatever I owned would come to me as if by the hands of angelic ministrants. If you own it, no one else may lay claim to it. It is yours by right.

Didn’t I hear Paul say it? “We are the children of God. And if children, then heirs, and joint heirs with Christ.”

But my heirship lay out of reach, awaiting my claim. My vision was distant, pushed far away by my unbelief.

Praise God for the gift of insight. Faith really did come by hearing, but only when my ears opened. The long night of mediocrity is over. The day of excellence is dawning.

My joy really is full, because not only do I have the gas, God has given me all the air I can use, He has further revealed to me the spark, and He has also provided me the perfect vehicle.

And guess what? All was within me all the time, simply waiting for me to awake, arise, and be a man.

There is a reason one of God’s names is “I AM.” He doesn’t have to “be something” to be God, He just is. As a child of God, I have the same birthright. It doesn’t have to be hard. I can let it be easy. I don’t have to be any particular way. I can just “be,” letting my actions unfold my destiny. Join me, won’t you?

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ID-100158083

I Am? – Week 18

We were under assignment this week (or next) to watch one of two movies.  I chose to watch Tom Shadyac’s self-discovery opus, I Am.  I loved it, and I hated it.  I’ll explain.

I loved the main points of the movie.  For me, these were:

  • The voyage of self-discovery can be enlightening and fulfilling;
  • What I do matters, both in my own life and in society as a whole;
  • The power is in me to do good and to do well or to do poorly and to do ill; I get to pick;
  • I am connected with all of God’s creations, including all the world’s people;
  • It’s not OK to project one thing on Sunday at church and something else the rest of the week; and
  • Acquisition and achievement offer no guaranties of happiness.

Take those messages to heart, and you have a foundation for connection, self-actualization, peace and happiness.  That’s wonderful, and I heartily endorse that journey.  After all, in that, Shadyac mirrors Haanel’s assertion that the primary human needs are for health and happiness.  Acquisition, beyond what one considers essential or beneficial, adds nothing to one’s happiness.

My dissatisfaction with the movie was in the subtext.  Subtext is often the most powerful part of the message of a piece of art.  This is because most people are not prepared to guard the gates of their minds, and the subconscious is the intended target of a movie’s subtext.  In this case, I found the subtext noxious, offensive, unenlightened and stupid.  You’re welcome to disagree, of course.

Here’s what I saw:

  • Shadyac naiively buys off on the ridiculous, laughable, patronizing “Noble Savage” ideal as applied to Native Americans.  There are things to admire about all cultures.  However, Native American cultures were neither monolithic nor uniformly peaceful.  There is a good reason many sports teams have had Native American warriors as mascots.
  • I found it even more patronizing to assert that an Anglo-European view of private property is mentally ill.  Acquisition and notions of ownership are cultural values.  Private property rights are at the core of American prosperity.  That Shadyac had the resources to create this film at all is a testimony to his embrace of that system.
  • The Church came in for criticism in the film as well.  Shadyac, bless his poor benighted soul, failed to learn the lessons that gave rise to such noble souls as Mother Teresa and Archbishop Desmond Tutu.  He lauds them in the film while criticizing the American church which teaches the same doctrine.  That is a typical human nature reaction to finding that one’s habitually practiced values are not in line with one’s new, re-born ideal.  Response: blame the teacher rather than take responsibility for having been a poor student.
  • America is further caricatured in I Am as a greedy, competitive, materialistic ogre,  spreading consumerism and economic mayhem across otherwise pristine,      saintly cultures abroad.  The hardscrabble, persistent, inventive individualism that is at the core of American exceptionalism is completely ignored and discounted.  Again, Shadyac displays his unwillingness to accept responsibility for having adopted much of the worst of what America offers while rejecting much of the best.

America is the most generous country on the planet both in terms of gross donation dollars and per capita donations.  That little nugget seems to have escaped Mr. Shadyac.

It also seems to have escaped the dear director that America was the first country on earth to have voluntarily ceased the practice of human slavery.  Native American cultures did not do that.  They were forced by subjugation to make that change.

I could go on, but you get the point.  We are responsible for being guardians at the gates of our minds.  If someone secretly offers me a pot-laden brownie, I can spit out the first bite and refuse the rest.

My conclusion:  I Am‘s buffet was loaded with BS, but it did include a few tasty, suculent morsels.  Those I consumed with joy, and left the rest alone.

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Phoenix

The Desperation Matrix – Week 17 HJ Supplement 2

Most people, it is said, live lives of quiet desperation. The desperation comes from not being able to fulfil or manifest one’s dreams. Alternatively, a sense of living without purpose also brings desperation. A third type of desperation comes from perceived failures of integrity.

It is this last type of desperation about which I write today. The first task here is to define terms.

Integrity is the sense of something being whole or complete. An idea has integrity because it “hangs together” or is logically consistent.

Applying the idea of integrity to people leads to a need for what might be a jarring insight. In practice, we as a society refer to integrity to mean what is actually only pleasing integrity.

The jarring truth is that every person has integrity. That is because one’s outward life always materially manifests in accord with one’s dominant thoughts, beliefs and desires. It cannot be otherwise.

I use the adverb “materially” here in my previous professional context. As a retired attorney CPA, I was trained to understand that public accountants do not assert objective financial condition in a published financial statement. That is because an objective assertion would require one to audit every part of every system, together with an audit of every single transaction. The cost of such would be enormous.

In the business world, it is commonly recognized that investors and owners don’t need objective certainty about financial condition. What they do need, however, is assurance that financial assertions in published data are materially correct.

We don’t need a deep discussion of materiality here. Suffice it to say that materiality is a function of the size of an organization and the number of transactions in a given financial period.

Therefore, you can easily understand that a human’s life condition will almost always contain elements, even seemingly “material” elements that are temporarily not in accord with his or her true nature. Thus, con men are able, for a time, to maintain the illusion of pleasing integrity. Eventually, however, the truth will out.

We say, and truly so, you can tell a tiger by its stripes. You can tell a tree by its fruit. Thus, you can tell the quality and nature of a person’s dominant thoughts, beliefs, intents and desires by a careful examination of his or her circumstances.

One’s objective physical appearance is determined by one’s DNA, to a large degree. I am not able, for example, to significantly increase my unadorned height. My weight is another matter entirely, as is my skin condition, the style in which my hair is cut, and the quality and style of my clothing.

Fortunately, I am not financially or socially limited by my inability to play professional basketball in the NBA. My relatively diminutive height is no disadvantage, unless I choose it to be.

The nature of my integrity, however, does determine financial, social and personal success. All true success is based on principle. And pleasing integrity is fundamental to all true success.

Pleasing integrity comes down to one very simple idea: keeping promises. Promises can be explicit or implicit, but a promise is a promise. If you keep a promise, you have pleasing integrity to that extent. If you break a promise, your integrity becomes unpleasant and repellant to a degree consistent with the magnitude of the broken promise.

It is common for people to talk about integrity as a character trait, and that is well as far as it goes. However, many incidents of unpleasant integrity are subconscious, which muddies the character waters significantly. Judging another in that context becomes a risky pursuit best left alone.

Like everyone else, the vast majority of my choices are subconscious. This is because my habits of thought, belief and emotion have created the programs of my life. My life runs on those programs, for the most part. I have conscious control over small things, but not directly so over the big ones. To get conscious control over bigger things, I have to alter the subconscious programming.

That is the subject and purpose of the Masterkey Mastermind Alliance. We learn here how to change our subconscious blueprint by studying Charles Haanel’s Masterkey System. And, our study has been significantly enhanced by the introduction of a simple mantra, introduced early on.

Frequent use of a mantra is one way to use the conscious mind to reprogram the subconscious. Our mantra is this: “I always keep my promises.”

I initially believed that mantra to be aspirational. In other words, as I grew into Masterkey maturity, I really would keep all my objective promises. That is a wonderful thing. And it’s a great idea. It leads inexorably to better manifestation of pleasing integrity.

However, the mantra did a far better thing. Its frequent repetition created a demand for cognition of a deeper, far more important truth. The truth is I actually do keep all my promises. [if you get this, it’s OK to scream in horror. I did, and I’m not ashamed to admit it.]

It’s just that most of those kept promises are in the subconscious realm. Those promises are the fruits of my garden of thought, many of the seeds for which were planted long ago in the dim reaches of a suppressed, if not forgotten, past. Hence, the knowledge that I keep all my promises allows me to discern and infer from my actions my actual dominant thoughts, beliefs and desires.

This becomes an effective diagnostic tool that allows me, at any moment, to see exactly where my subconscious compass is pointed. It further allows me to see that upon which my subconscious lens (or magnifying glass) is focused.

Now we can draw a small arc of the circle of desperation. Desperation comes as a function of one’s level of consciousness and one’s sense of direction. Desperation deepens when in denial of consciousness. It further deepens when one’s life is other-directed. Thus we have a matrix of points at the intersection of two continua. One continuum is the degree to which one accepts and embraces one’s consciousness. The other continuum is the degree to which one is willing to self-direct as opposed to volunteering for other-direction.

When one unconsciously operates an other-directed life, one can plummet into abyssal desperation. When one is fully conscious and operates a self-directed life, transcendent peace results. As these are continua, an infinite number of conditions and states are possible.

For me, simply being delivered from the chains of my previous beliefs is reward enough. I will be forever grateful for the gift of a simple, unassuming mantra. I keep all my promises!

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Cool Kids & Belonging – Week 17 HJ Supplemental

This is another supplemental entry. Casual readers may want to give it a skip.

Change is hard. The more significant the change, the harder it is. Our journey through the Masterkey System invites us to recognize our true selves. In doing so, we let the old self, patterned on others’ ideas, die. We are thus reborn, a new creature, fashioned on our own perception of our purpose or Dharma.

I am at this writing in my late 50s and have been gifted with strong passions, incisive thoughts and a clear mind. I invested 28 years in practicing law, and that practice disposed me to exude confidence in who I am and what I think. All of this adds up to deep ruts in the stone paths of my life.

oregon-trail-ruts

Of late, the change process has prompted interestingly irrational thoughts, causing me at times to question my grasp on reality.

Reassuringly for me, we found out in this week’s MKMMA webinar that such things are common when facing wholesale change.

I feel blessed even so, because the flow of insight hasn’t failed. Every week has brought (or revealed) a new or deeper layer of thought and feeling ready to be layered in (or dug out). Recent weeks’ practice yielded insight that a significant portion of my adult interactions have proceeded from a place sometimes called the “less than” box.

Sunday morning this week brought the biggest insight so far. I saw clearly that I had been living my father’s life.

His father died young, when my father was 16 or 17. Previous to his death, my grandfather spent years away from his family at what today would be called an extended care facility. As a partial consequence of growing up poor and fatherless in the Great Depression, my father chose to live often seeking the approval of others, especially those with business or personal financial success.

For example, rather than spend his retirement years (few though they turned out to be) simply enjoying his family and serving in the community, to his dying day (almost literally), my father worked one unproductive business deal after another, always looking for a financial home run. You see, with financial success he would finally “be somebody.” My Dad stroked out at work, was conversant for only a short time, and never left a hospital bed again. He died about two weeks later after 10 days in a stroke-induced coma.

My insight this Sunday allowed me to see how many, if not most, of my personal, professional and social interactions were for the subliminal, subconscious purpose of gaining approval from, and/or access to belonging with, the “cool kids” in my life. Of course, this never happened in any significant or lasting way. I, too, sought the symbols of power and wealth, thinking, if you can call it thought, that those things would add enough to me to make me something.

In that way, as in others, without conscious forethought, I lived my father’s life.

Sure, I had a degree and license he never earned. I had skills he never possessed. I learned to network as he never did. But fundamentally, I was his son, through and through.

Lest the reader misunderstand that this was all bad, my father was a person of amazing good will, charity, and good character. He was admired for those things by all who knew him. His work ethic was all but legendary. His love for his family was beyond doubt. I also possess a fair measure of such positive traits. His example and teaching were instrumental in my adoption of that positive programming.

And, now, action beckons. Haanel’s promise that meditation would liberate me from the chains of dysfunctional beliefs is coming true.

I have gained insight into my true self, and I feel the heavens inviting me to give that man wings.

But, first, a funeral is in order. My old man of sin died and was buried with my watery baptism and subsequent, ongoing repentance. Now, my approval seeking, “wanna be” financial and professional adventurer has stroked out and will soon be comatose.

I had the courage to honor my father’s wish to not be artificially kept alive without any hope for a vibrant, quality life, and I can summon that courage again. I had the courage of my subconscious convictions to live a dysfunctional life in honor of my father’s pattern.

I here declare the exercise of courage needed to embrace vulnerability, pull the plug on “other directed” life, let that old life die, and experience every day the bliss of living by the internal, God-given compass of my divine purpose.

How appropriate that this week’s Ben Franklin value for me is courage. I chose that value three weeks ago, and my “subby” delivered me the prime opportunity and the power needed to display that virtue, right on cue. It will be fun to watch courage manifest, over and over again.

The power is within me now to live a life of effective, joyful, productive service.

I easily see patterns. That has served me exceptionally well as I work the current process of change. I easily see cause and effect. I discern with incisive facility. I infer with surgical precision. Humans are as habitual as any animal, and both success and failure leave tracks easily followed.

My experience of adversity gives me deep empathy. My years of advocacy yielded facile communication skills. I lived a good story, and I easily remember the good stories of others.

I am sensitive to my personal, pivotal needs, and I believe I can coach others to gain sensitivity to their own.

Most of all, like Frank Herbert’s Paul Atreides (Dune) or the Wachowski brothers’ Neo (The Matrix), my sleeper has awoken. Like them, I am initially reluctant to believe in my intrinsic greatness, but I, too, have great help and wonderful companions. I can learn to be one with them and with the world, living in perfect harmony.

It will be fun to watch me soar. My life is full. I have opportunity beyond the value of the treasures in Smaug’s hoard or the legendary Cave of Wonders. After all, I am made of God stuff, and trinkets, baubles and other shiny objects are of no eternal value.

Unlike most people, I have felt the power of a true mastermind. I know its potential, and I’m learning my own.

I revere my father’s sacrifices for me and my family. It will not honor him, however, to continue on his path when I can now walk my own. I promise, dear reader, to tread my own path. And, I always keep my promises.

Walk with me, will you please? Or, maybe you’d rather ride? We get to pick, after all.

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Phoenix

Self-Guided (vs. Other-Guided) – Week 17 HJ

George Carlin has a great monologue on self-help. It’s a little rude, like much of Carlin’s work, and here it is:

Carlin’s basic point, if you don’t want to watch it, is it’s only self-help if you do it yourself. If you use a resource, whether book, person, video, etc., it’s no longer self-help. It’s just help.

I love Carlin’s literalism. He lives the inherent external and internal social contract that we call language. Externally, we agree with others on the meaning of word symbols. That allows interpersonal communication. Internally, we do the same thing. That allows awareness.

The misuse of word symbols, whether intentional or not, creates misunderstanding externally and confusion internally.

Now, think for a minute about spirituality. One dictionary defines my intended context of the word as “… of or pertaining to sacred things or matters; religious; devotional; sacred.” Query: who gets to define spirituality for you? Is it a private matter between you and God, as you conceive Him? Or is spirituality defined for you by your minister, church or some other person or entity?

And, if another gets to define spirituality, what then, is faith? Can you have faith without some independent sense of what is sacred? The answers to these questions are matters for your private devotion, and I shan’t more overtly here insert my personal beliefs.

Query second: if you espouse faith in God, do you let any person, institution or incident dissuade you from your faith? I espouse faith in God through a particular denomination, one of the nominal adherents of which was Theodore “Ted” Bundy, the noted serial rapist/killer. Does Mr. Bundy define my faith, even if his name means “gift of God”? I trow not. I confidently assert, “No!”

What about a well-meaning but under-informed associate? Does his or her bigoted, benighted, unduly limited, and/or under-confident view get to define for me what it means to be a Christian? Of course not. That is between me and Christ, Himself.

What about your life, your mission, your purpose, your destiny? Who defines you, your limits, your mission, your destiny?

This is also a matter for your private meditation and devotions.

What about your goals, your dreams, your search for meaning in your life? Are you going to let some bad example, a misinformed person, your own history of achievement (or lack of same) define what you can or can’t be, do or have?

Now that’s a much harder question for most of us. As infants, children, adolescents and young adults the vast majority of us were offered beliefs, ideas and other programming by our family, teachers, friends and others that invited us to believe in personal limitations well below our actual potential.

If true, what’s next? I believe true answers lie within. Carlin had it right. If I, or anyone else, tells you what to do, that’s not self-help. That’s just help. And, no other person can tell you what your truth is. No other person can know your purpose or your destiny.

What I can tell you is the search for purpose is worth it. When you find it, life gets way easier. I recommend the journey and the search. You needn’t worry about the “how.” Resources and other help will find you as you need them.

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