In Search of Work-Life Balance – Week 23

I was recommended a TED talk recently on work-life balance. You can see it [] if you like.

I liked Ms. Slaughter’s conclusion that caregiving and breadwinning are both valuable, even equally valuable, but I confess to have balked at her recommendations for forced, governmentally imposed structure to “change” society. You will have noted in my last post, perhaps, my belief that intelligence, if honored, must be invited to change rather than being forced to change. I suppose I have more faith in humanity than does Ms. Slaughter. I also believe markets inspire and encourage change, all on their own. Either way, a market or a government in many respects is an amalgam of its members or participants. As we change, our institutions change.

This week’s Masterkey System lesson, number 23, also invites change. In it, Haanel invites us to consider how our thoughts either attract or repel abundance, and, with it, prosperity. Haanel correctly asserts that wealth follows service. The more people we serve, the more wealth follows, in proportion to the value of our service.

The basic proposition of give more, get more appears to ignore motive, at least on the surface. I took counsel, however, from Haanel’s guidance in paragraph 23-4 to examine my motives. He said, “… our problem is to keep an open mind, … to be interested in the race rather than the goal, for the pleasure is in the pursuit rather than the possession.”

I took this to mean that if I focus too much on the object of my effort (my own goal), I risk substituting attachment for intention. I read Deepak Chopra in Seven Spiritual Laws of Success to recommend intention and to avoid attachment. Having unintentionally not heeded that advice at first, I have lots of experience with the consequences of attachment. I don’t recommend that path.

Recently, I’ve been able to change. I can now better dial my attachment (or expectation for action by another) to zero, while keeping my intention (or enthusiasm) high. The results are as you might predict. Positive response is up; rejection is down.

Masterkey System paragraph 23-5 says, “You can make a money magnet of yourself, but to do so you must first consider how you can make money for other people.” As an American, I’m culturally and socially predisposed to believe more is more.
I’ve learned, perhaps paradoxically, that less is often more, and sometimes less is substantially more.

An illustration may help. In a prospecting conversation, you might think that more description about product, plan or company would encourage quicker and deeper investigation. Au contraire! That, I can tell you from sad experience, works very poorly.

What does work is for me to create interest with simple statements. When the other person expresses interest, it is almost always best for me to ask questions and listen with the intent to invite the other person to share deeply held fear, hope, pain and/or desire. In that way, I allow him or her to connect those feelings with the opportunity or solution in which he or she expressed interest. Go90Grow students will recognize this pattern, of course.

The same goes for marketing. I may have a product or opportunity that verifiably serves a non-segmented market, but it doesn’t pay me to advertise that idea. You, my reader, will likely not be shocked to hear I tried. And failed, ignominiously.

Again, less is more. I serve better when I narrow my focus. A recent coaching experience highlights the wisdom of this idea. I mostly interact with current or former professionals, self-employed and business owners. After 4 years of this, my language patterns serve that market very well. Last night, however, I counseled with a new business associate, age 19.

As I began to talk with him about my marketing process, it quickly became apparent that I knew little or nothing of his world or the world of his likely business prospects. After an hour or so, I began to get a sense of what they were going to want and need, but it took some focus and concentration to put myself in that world. Having done so, I’m looking forward to helping my new associate get his business off to a flying start.

This brings me back to work-life balance.

It turns out one of the primary benefits of the opportunity I promote is to dramatically broaden choices for work-life balance. I might not have seen this before, but I do now.
And, by helping my business associates voluntarily segment their markets, they get better results, with less effort.
Thus, the value of my service increases, my attachment stays dialed down to zero, my intention stays dialed high, and I enjoy the journey more. Natural consequences? You already know.

Thank you, as always, for joining me on this journey.

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8 thoughts on “In Search of Work-Life Balance – Week 23

  1. Great post, David. I really enjoyed the examples and am very much in agreement on the less is more thing. Let your clients/people do 80% of the talking and they’ll attach meaning themselves. Great reminder and value. thanks!

  2. Awesome observation! This is refreshing, since we tend to shy away from applying Haanel’s lessons to our businesses in our blogs. Two thoughts, and one seems to parallel your experience, which really put a smile on my face. First, I had a new business partner who was really frustrating me. His rolodex is amazing and he has a strong circle of influence, but he has not allowed me to help him move forward with his business for his first three months. I placed a new customer under him two months ago and did not consider it further. Last week I actually offered to cancel his account, since he just did not seemed interested in the business or the products. He agreed. Yesterday he came into me office and showed me a check. He asked me why he received a check from the company. When I explained that he received the check because he was paid on the customer I placed under him, he got so excited. It was a two dollar check! He sat down and started telling me who we needed to talk to and scheduling appointments! I was dazed! A two dollar check! He kept waiving the check at me and said how much he trusted this company…..So the company gave first…and this radically changed his perspective! Wow!

    The second thought has to do with working with a 19 year old. You are spot on! Gen Y functions from an entirely different core value system! Google Gen Y. Jason Dorsey will give you some amazing insight into this generation!

    Good luck….You are on the right path! Love taking this journey together!

    1. Susan, I’ve been your team member…frustrating my support team I’m sure…particularly since I’ve yet to really get started but I quickly recognized that their approach was not what I wanted to follow but instead found the Go90Grow to be much more in line with my style. I’m sure they will be pleasantly amazed when the results from my newly tooled skills are implemented. Thanks for sharing your experience…it enhances David’s message.

      1. Celeste: Not sure if you mean that philosophically or not, but I truly believe that this course and the other training that I have received from Mark and Davene has helped me to become more effective in the area that is part of my DMP: helping others to reach their goals. As an educator I really want to help other people and make a difference in their lives. These tools are equipping me to really fulfill my purpose.

  3. Once again great insight…one in which I can totally relate. I’m delighted that we’ve gotten connected before the structured MKMMA journey ends. I look forward to continuing to connect via your blog. Keep sharing and making a difference. Continued favor…

    1. Thank you, Brian. So right. We serve others, and, helping them get what they want, we get what we want.

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