Tag Archives: Change

balance

In Search of Work-Life Balance – Week 23

I was recommended a TED talk recently on work-life balance. You can see it [] if you like.

I liked Ms. Slaughter’s conclusion that caregiving and breadwinning are both valuable, even equally valuable, but I confess to have balked at her recommendations for forced, governmentally imposed structure to “change” society. You will have noted in my last post, perhaps, my belief that intelligence, if honored, must be invited to change rather than being forced to change. I suppose I have more faith in humanity than does Ms. Slaughter. I also believe markets inspire and encourage change, all on their own. Either way, a market or a government in many respects is an amalgam of its members or participants. As we change, our institutions change.

This week’s Masterkey System lesson, number 23, also invites change. In it, Haanel invites us to consider how our thoughts either attract or repel abundance, and, with it, prosperity. Haanel correctly asserts that wealth follows service. The more people we serve, the more wealth follows, in proportion to the value of our service.

The basic proposition of give more, get more appears to ignore motive, at least on the surface. I took counsel, however, from Haanel’s guidance in paragraph 23-4 to examine my motives. He said, “… our problem is to keep an open mind, … to be interested in the race rather than the goal, for the pleasure is in the pursuit rather than the possession.”

I took this to mean that if I focus too much on the object of my effort (my own goal), I risk substituting attachment for intention. I read Deepak Chopra in Seven Spiritual Laws of Success to recommend intention and to avoid attachment. Having unintentionally not heeded that advice at first, I have lots of experience with the consequences of attachment. I don’t recommend that path.

Recently, I’ve been able to change. I can now better dial my attachment (or expectation for action by another) to zero, while keeping my intention (or enthusiasm) high. The results are as you might predict. Positive response is up; rejection is down.

Masterkey System paragraph 23-5 says, “You can make a money magnet of yourself, but to do so you must first consider how you can make money for other people.” As an American, I’m culturally and socially predisposed to believe more is more.
I’ve learned, perhaps paradoxically, that less is often more, and sometimes less is substantially more.

An illustration may help. In a prospecting conversation, you might think that more description about product, plan or company would encourage quicker and deeper investigation. Au contraire! That, I can tell you from sad experience, works very poorly.

What does work is for me to create interest with simple statements. When the other person expresses interest, it is almost always best for me to ask questions and listen with the intent to invite the other person to share deeply held fear, hope, pain and/or desire. In that way, I allow him or her to connect those feelings with the opportunity or solution in which he or she expressed interest. Go90Grow students will recognize this pattern, of course.

The same goes for marketing. I may have a product or opportunity that verifiably serves a non-segmented market, but it doesn’t pay me to advertise that idea. You, my reader, will likely not be shocked to hear I tried. And failed, ignominiously.

Again, less is more. I serve better when I narrow my focus. A recent coaching experience highlights the wisdom of this idea. I mostly interact with current or former professionals, self-employed and business owners. After 4 years of this, my language patterns serve that market very well. Last night, however, I counseled with a new business associate, age 19.

As I began to talk with him about my marketing process, it quickly became apparent that I knew little or nothing of his world or the world of his likely business prospects. After an hour or so, I began to get a sense of what they were going to want and need, but it took some focus and concentration to put myself in that world. Having done so, I’m looking forward to helping my new associate get his business off to a flying start.

This brings me back to work-life balance.

It turns out one of the primary benefits of the opportunity I promote is to dramatically broaden choices for work-life balance. I might not have seen this before, but I do now.
And, by helping my business associates voluntarily segment their markets, they get better results, with less effort.
Thus, the value of my service increases, my attachment stays dialed down to zero, my intention stays dialed high, and I enjoy the journey more. Natural consequences? You already know.

Thank you, as always, for joining me on this journey.

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Cool Kids & Belonging – Week 17 HJ Supplemental

This is another supplemental entry. Casual readers may want to give it a skip.

Change is hard. The more significant the change, the harder it is. Our journey through the Masterkey System invites us to recognize our true selves. In doing so, we let the old self, patterned on others’ ideas, die. We are thus reborn, a new creature, fashioned on our own perception of our purpose or Dharma.

I am at this writing in my late 50s and have been gifted with strong passions, incisive thoughts and a clear mind. I invested 28 years in practicing law, and that practice disposed me to exude confidence in who I am and what I think. All of this adds up to deep ruts in the stone paths of my life.

oregon-trail-ruts

Of late, the change process has prompted interestingly irrational thoughts, causing me at times to question my grasp on reality.

Reassuringly for me, we found out in this week’s MKMMA webinar that such things are common when facing wholesale change.

I feel blessed even so, because the flow of insight hasn’t failed. Every week has brought (or revealed) a new or deeper layer of thought and feeling ready to be layered in (or dug out). Recent weeks’ practice yielded insight that a significant portion of my adult interactions have proceeded from a place sometimes called the “less than” box.

Sunday morning this week brought the biggest insight so far. I saw clearly that I had been living my father’s life.

His father died young, when my father was 16 or 17. Previous to his death, my grandfather spent years away from his family at what today would be called an extended care facility. As a partial consequence of growing up poor and fatherless in the Great Depression, my father chose to live often seeking the approval of others, especially those with business or personal financial success.

For example, rather than spend his retirement years (few though they turned out to be) simply enjoying his family and serving in the community, to his dying day (almost literally), my father worked one unproductive business deal after another, always looking for a financial home run. You see, with financial success he would finally “be somebody.” My Dad stroked out at work, was conversant for only a short time, and never left a hospital bed again. He died about two weeks later after 10 days in a stroke-induced coma.

My insight this Sunday allowed me to see how many, if not most, of my personal, professional and social interactions were for the subliminal, subconscious purpose of gaining approval from, and/or access to belonging with, the “cool kids” in my life. Of course, this never happened in any significant or lasting way. I, too, sought the symbols of power and wealth, thinking, if you can call it thought, that those things would add enough to me to make me something.

In that way, as in others, without conscious forethought, I lived my father’s life.

Sure, I had a degree and license he never earned. I had skills he never possessed. I learned to network as he never did. But fundamentally, I was his son, through and through.

Lest the reader misunderstand that this was all bad, my father was a person of amazing good will, charity, and good character. He was admired for those things by all who knew him. His work ethic was all but legendary. His love for his family was beyond doubt. I also possess a fair measure of such positive traits. His example and teaching were instrumental in my adoption of that positive programming.

And, now, action beckons. Haanel’s promise that meditation would liberate me from the chains of dysfunctional beliefs is coming true.

I have gained insight into my true self, and I feel the heavens inviting me to give that man wings.

But, first, a funeral is in order. My old man of sin died and was buried with my watery baptism and subsequent, ongoing repentance. Now, my approval seeking, “wanna be” financial and professional adventurer has stroked out and will soon be comatose.

I had the courage to honor my father’s wish to not be artificially kept alive without any hope for a vibrant, quality life, and I can summon that courage again. I had the courage of my subconscious convictions to live a dysfunctional life in honor of my father’s pattern.

I here declare the exercise of courage needed to embrace vulnerability, pull the plug on “other directed” life, let that old life die, and experience every day the bliss of living by the internal, God-given compass of my divine purpose.

How appropriate that this week’s Ben Franklin value for me is courage. I chose that value three weeks ago, and my “subby” delivered me the prime opportunity and the power needed to display that virtue, right on cue. It will be fun to watch courage manifest, over and over again.

The power is within me now to live a life of effective, joyful, productive service.

I easily see patterns. That has served me exceptionally well as I work the current process of change. I easily see cause and effect. I discern with incisive facility. I infer with surgical precision. Humans are as habitual as any animal, and both success and failure leave tracks easily followed.

My experience of adversity gives me deep empathy. My years of advocacy yielded facile communication skills. I lived a good story, and I easily remember the good stories of others.

I am sensitive to my personal, pivotal needs, and I believe I can coach others to gain sensitivity to their own.

Most of all, like Frank Herbert’s Paul Atreides (Dune) or the Wachowski brothers’ Neo (The Matrix), my sleeper has awoken. Like them, I am initially reluctant to believe in my intrinsic greatness, but I, too, have great help and wonderful companions. I can learn to be one with them and with the world, living in perfect harmony.

It will be fun to watch me soar. My life is full. I have opportunity beyond the value of the treasures in Smaug’s hoard or the legendary Cave of Wonders. After all, I am made of God stuff, and trinkets, baubles and other shiny objects are of no eternal value.

Unlike most people, I have felt the power of a true mastermind. I know its potential, and I’m learning my own.

I revere my father’s sacrifices for me and my family. It will not honor him, however, to continue on his path when I can now walk my own. I promise, dear reader, to tread my own path. And, I always keep my promises.

Walk with me, will you please? Or, maybe you’d rather ride? We get to pick, after all.

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It’s a War in There – Week 11

It came to me last week that I’m in a battle of the blueprints. My old blueprint is at war with the new one, and my inner child is the battleground.

Or, at least that’s how it seemed to me at first.  What emerged from several days of treatment, therapy and meditation was a thread of enlightenment that freed me from the battle:  opposition equals choice.

There is a natural flow of energy all around us and within us.  Sometimes that energetic flow presents opportunities for us to perceive opposition, and my previously more infantile, western-trained mind perceived opposition as conflict.

The truth is far different, for those who are willing to see it.  A sense of opposition can portend conflict if that is desired or if that is a person’s default posture.  In reality, we create conflict from opposition by choice.  I learned that placing myself in opposition was usually optional and not recommended for serenity.

I will attempt to illustrate by describing briefly the sequence of events that led to this realization.

The “battle” idea came Tuesday evening.  What followed on Wednesday were two scheduled treatment / therapy sessions, one with my chiropractor and one with my massage therapist.  Here’s what transpired, to the best of my ability to articulate.

I offer that disclaimer, because all truth is spiritual truth, and one is only able to perceive spiritual truth by aligning with the Spirit of Truth.  Therefore, you’ll see in me what you’re ready to see in yourself, and no more.

In the treatment sessions, I was able to experience a sense of the ongoing cyclical flow of energy in my body and the ongoing cycle of ebb and flow of the cerebro-spinal fluid.  To get there, however, a couple blocks to the flow had to be recognized and removed.

One of the blocks seemed to be an inherited sense of the futility of action.  In other words, a number of my antecedents had internalized, unintentionally, the idea that success was impossible.  Therefore, action was futile.  A couple other related emotions were released in the same sessions.

I came away feeling jubilant, not anticipating the other shoe dropping.  Still, even the temporary sense of connection stemming from the conscious sensation of the flow of energy within me was very exhilarating.

Thursday morning the other  shoe dropped.   I awoke with my back about as seized up as it’s ever been.

I worked through releasing some emotions using Dr. Hansen’s Emotion Code framework.  A cascade of emotions poured out, many of them what Dr. Hansen calls “inherited” emotions.  Part of the process of releasing emotions was the internal energy awareness gained on Wednesday.

That process continued Friday morning in preparation for two more treatment sessions Friday afternoon.  I came away from the treatments feeling better, if a little dazed.

Saturday morning an early appointment prevented in-depth self-care, to my benefit, it turned out.  On returning home, depression set in, and I was all but immobilized until late Saturday.  A few more emotions were released, and, late in the day, the depression passed.

This pattern continued through the next several days as my therapy sessions, emotion release ministry, meditation and personal development practices continued.

After eight or nine days of this pattern, I seemed to perceive a harmony:  it isn’t many things; it’s one thing.  In other words, my mind (or spirit, if you like), my body and my emotions aren’t separate entities.  This is an integrated system, to the extent I’m willing to allow integration.

Back to the idea of conflict.  Perceived opposition, combined with an inclination to choose conflict, activated by fear, causes emotions to “stick” to the body.  That “stickiness” binds the fascia to the muscle, in some cases, causing stiffness and pain and trapping the emotion in the body.  In other cases, the emotion lands and sticks on neural tissue or joints.

In my case, several factors were acting in concert to facilitate a release of trapped emotion: stimulation of fascia, muscles, nerves and joints via the physical treatments, stimulation of new thoughts via the Master Key System-led blueprint change, and my willingness to attend, recognize and release the trapped emotions via the Emotion Code.

I’m grateful for this experience, because it’s allowing me to see and sense in others some of the same perceived difficulty, and I now have some great tools to help them more quickly find relief.

Hence the main lesson: opposition is a constant, but conflict is optional.  With the space that awareness creates, other choices are possible.  And the best news of all?  We get to pick.

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